OK, we’ve searched every single media outlet available to us, contacted our Deep Throats in twelve different countries, obsessively checked the hidden cameras we have secreted away in various sundry colonic clinics around the greater Hollywood area, and we’ve still got nothing. An entire twenty-four hours have passed with Lindsay Lohan managed to contain her labia within the confines of her clothing, so we’re going to take up space by posting pictures of English actress Kelly Brook wearing a bikini.
Hey, everybody! Check it out! It’s Kelly Brook! She’s wearing a bikini! Have a look-see!
Not sure what’s she’s doing here, or why her bikini has a small pocket on the ass (you keep your weed in there?), but she’s in a squatting position. Yeeeah. This is gettin’ good, friends. Real good-like.
Sweet fancy Moses! Kelly Brook is being attacked by a beluga whale in cut-off camo! Unhand her, you fiend! You cur!
No. No. No.
Sigh. He’s just going to eat you, Kelly. He’s going to eat you and you will go into his giant whale stomach where you and Gepetto and Cleo will use fire to force yourselves out but then you’ll almost drown, Kelly. And where will that leave you? Where will that leave you, Kelly Brook, if the Blue Fairy doesn’t come along to turn you into a Real Girl?
Is Kelly Brook naked at MrSkin.com? Do you have to ask?
