We don't go to the theater. Mostly because we're charlatans, but also because in the rare instance that there is a hot naked lady on stage, we're too far away to actually see it. Internet porn is just so much more intimate. So luckily once in a while someone like possible-still-fiancÈe of your friend Billy Zane Kelly Brook appears on a London stage flaunting her funbags in a bikini and someone helpfully takes close-up pictures of said funbags. England is so much more advanced than we prudish Yanks. They make stars out of girls like Katie Price and Lucy Pinder, who do nothing more than haul out their fake boobies whenever a camera is around. We want our girls to have "talent" or "class" or some bullshit. Hell, the last time we saw a play all the women were dressed like Miss Havisham. That's just not what art is about. Girls in bikinis! That's how to get asses in seats. After all, we hear that Shakespeare's first draft of Hamlet was nothing but girls in bikinis. He was a true innovator, that man.
Not sexy enough for you? See Kelly Brook nude at MrSkin.com.
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Whooptidoo. She's been photographed in a bikini dozens, if not hundreds of times. It's been her primary source of income, along with the occasional acting job.
And in most of the older stuff, her thighs weren't quite so… voluminous.