It’s amazing that Kelly Osbourne has managed to stay in the spotlight for so long, in spite of having no discernible talents other than saying “fuck” a lot on TV when she was 16 and having a dad who guillotined a bat with his teeth. So it’s understandable if you didn’t know that she was engaged for several years and only recently broke up with the dude, an elfin model named Luke Worrell. Right after Christmas, she exploded all over Twitter that Luke, who looks freakishly like the blond guy on Party Down, is “the biggest piece of shit… I came home after Xmas to find he’s been fucking hundreds of girls as well as men behind my back.” As it turns out, Kelly’s wrong. He’s been fucking girls, men, and the third sex. A woman-born-man named Elle Schneider has come forward to tell her tale of dong-diddling with Luke. Via The Mirror:
“I was open with Luke that I was born a boy. He didn’t mind - in fact it turned him on more. He is a very good-looking guy and when I first met him, he seemed so vulnerable and messed up, I wanted to look after and protect him. He always insisted to me he was single and I had no idea he was engaged to Kelly Osbourne.”
The two met in 2009 and hooked up at a hotel. Elle says:
“I told him I was transgender and he said, ‘I know’. He told me I was beautiful. It was only when I took my clothes off he saw I had a penis. He wasn’t fazed by it - he was very complimentary. He was drunk.”
How brilliant and awesome is it to change from male to female and then name yourself “Elle”? What’s her full name? Elle Mädchen Fille Senorita Schneider? That’s like Mel Gibson legally changing his name to Jewsplitter 6000.
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because REAL MEN aren’t born in california.