Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have reportedly finally hammered out their binding pre-nuptial contract that specifically lays out the amount of cash and number of homes K-hole will receive per each year the couple is wed. Man, in these crazy, heady days full of all this talk about same-sex couples wanting the right to legally commit to each other, it's nice to see a good solid American heterosexual couple exemplifying all the moral tenets of Christian marriage.
Poor Katie might have been kicking herself for not realizing that she was suckered into becoming the attractive arm-candy/facial hair/birthing vessel of a megalomaniacal foppish alien midget, but she needn't feel too bad . . . if you look deep into her eyes, where once dwelled little cartoon hearts, you'll find dollar signs dancing. Allegedly, as long as she grits her teeth, keeps up the grin, and bears it for a bit, she'll receive a nice chunk of scratch for her time with Cruise. According to MSNBC, the pre-nup states that she'll get $3 million a year, up to $33 million, for every year she remains married, as well as a "palatial home" in Montecito, CA. But if she outlasts Nicole Kidman and is able to find the brute strength to stick it out for over eleven years, the pre-nup becomes void and California's community property law takes over, which awards K-hole HALF of Tom's fortune, which is rumored to be worth a cool $400 million.
The funny thing is that although we like money as much as the next person who also likes money, when you hold up "possible $200 million and a palace after you convert to a religion involving spacemen in volcanos and you're not allowed to continue your career and you have to incubate a Damianesque child, only fathered by Hubbardseed instead of Satan's" against "stay poor and be normal", we're gonna have to go with poor.
Yo, Holmes, it's Katie in the buff! At MrSkin.com.
And please, view you some Tom at MaleStars.com.
Katie Might Not Be So Dumb After All
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