On this, one of the slowest gossip weeks in nigh on a year, we're grateful to our gossip prom chaperone, FemaleFirst, for a one-two shot of totally tubular headlines: "Kate Moss Loves Pork" and "Pete Doherty's Penis Piercing." The former refers to the famously slender Miss Moss snarfing up pub pork rinds, while the latter story tells a moralistic tale of Doherty's plans to become a 1994-style modern primitive with a rod through his johnson. However, we make no bone(r)s about our belief that FemaleFirst is trying to send us subliminal backwards-Judas-Priest-LP style messages. Maybe these two stories are interconnected. Maybe Kate's newfound insatiable love of pork is directly related her her love's need to carve up his hog. Maybe by "loves pork" they mean "loves poke," meaning "loves poking holes in Pete's prick." Kate is perfectly pleased to poke permeable perforations in Pete's polluted penis.
There's much mo' Moss at MrSkin.com.
