Somebody's Having Jude Law's Baby

jude-law-mustache-chest-hair-sleezy.jpg
Brush up on your Agatha Christie, maybe rent a few seasons of Murder She Wrote, because we've got a mystery on our hands. Jude Law's having a baby, but he won't tell us who the mama is. His rep released this statement:

Jude Law can confirm that, following a relationship last year, he has been advised that he is to be the father of a child due in the fall of this year. Mr. Law is no longer in a relationship with the individual concerned, but he intends to be a fully supportive part of the child's life. This is an entirely private matter and no other statements will be made.

We haven't been paying much attention to Jude Law since he lost Sienna Miller and most of his hair in rapid succession, mostly because seeing a famous former-sexiest-man-alive stumbling the streets looking like a drunken hobo is pretty damn depressing. So we have no clue. He could have been dating one of the lesser tarts from The Hills for all we know. Oh! But wait! The last we heard of Jude's loins was that they were mashing up against the sweaty, unkempt lady parts of Kimbo Stewart! THAT would be scandal, folks. That would be like Audrina Patridge getting knocked up by George Clooney. You know, if George suddenly started dressing like an H&M mannequin and routinely got laughed at by hot supermodels.

Comments

Comment… read it below or add one

Bobby Weird July 30, 2009 at 4:20 pm

At least he's man enough not to wear a condom. If only he were man enough to fake his way out of a paternity test so he could say it wasn't his.

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: