Jessica Simpson got a pretty shitty birthday present last week when she was dumped a day before her odometer clicked off another year. But it could have been worse. In fact, it has been worse. She once got a very intimate, personal gift from then-boyfriend John Mayer. Says Page Six:
JOHN Mayer could be the most narcissistic celebrity ever. An insider said, "Several years ago when he was dating Jessica Simpson, he couldn't go to her birthday party because he was on tour. So the night of her birthday she had dinner with [hairdresser] Ken Paves and a few friends. Everyone thought John would forget her birthday, but then a gift arrived from him — it was a DVD of him in concert. Jessica spent the rest of the night watching the DVD on a loop, 'being with him.' It was so sad." A rep for Mayer declined to comment.
But there's good news. (At least for you. Not so much for Jess. She's pretty much screwed.) You don't need to let John Mayer plunder your most intimate areas to have such a beautiful gift bestowed upon you. Your friends at CelebNewsWire have compiled a beautiful array of photos depicting John Mayer's guitar face for your amusement. You'll really enjoy "being with him."
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Looks like Jessica's waiting for someone to chuck a Snickers bar into her gullet.