Joaquin Phoenix Raps; Falls Down Goes Boom

joaquin_phoenix_rapping.jpgHe won an Oscar. Now he wants a Grammy. Or perhaps a “Rappy” award. A mere three months ago, harelipped hunkomaniac Joaquin Phoenix announced he was quitting acting to pursue a music career. And he’s wasted no time chasing his dream–he’s been busy writing hot beats and growing a matted hobo beard and made his first public appearance as a musician at LAVO nightclub in Las Vegas. He rapped. And then he fell down. Behold:

So in case you were wondering if it’s possible to grow up in the child-touching Children of God cult and then get forced into child stardom and then see your older brother die on the sidewalk in front of you and come out of it all a sane, well-adjusted person, here’s your answer. But hey, how about that rapping. We’ve witnessed better “flow” from Barney Rubble in that Fruity Pebbles commercial. Fruit-a-rooty!

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