If Jessica Simpson really is dating John Mayer (for real this time) and is happy and well sexed (we are talking John Mayer, so maybe that should read "moderately sexed") and in love and all that shit, does that mean that we have to stop feeling sorry for her? Because she almost has a better pout than Jennifer Aniston, and we really like our female celebrities depressed and downtrodden and seconds from jumping off the nearest bridge (or at least seconds from jumping off the nearest Stearns & Foster deluxe pillowtop to a nasty spill on the cashmere-blend area rug).
New York Daily News explains how two such diabolical minds as Jess and John were able to fool an entire nation with their cunning wit and secrecy:
John Mayer and Jessica Simpson rang in '07 "full-on making out" at the Hudson Hotel party thrown by Christina Aguilera. It was the first public acknowledgment of a relationship they have been denying since August. (The mystery source on that first story, by the way, was a deliveryman who saw Mayer in his boxer shorts at Simpson's home, and sold it to the tabs.)"He was scratching her back, they were kissing, it wasn't subtle," says a spy at the Heineken-sponsored bash. The couple dined earlier in the evening at Country, after shopping at Barneys during the day.
A source tells us they are staying together at The Mercer hotel in SoHo.
An insider says: "John has been thrilled that they have been tricking the media, but she doesn't really care. His Christmas present to her was a framed copy of the Us Weekly cover that says 'Dumped: John ditches Jessica.'"
That sure sounds like a great present, Jess. What will he get you for your birthday, a box full of all the hair clipped off your head by Ken Paves since you started dating?
Find more pics of John and Jess at Faded Youth.
Jessica. Looking good at MrSkin.com.
