Jessica Alba Longs for Dongs

jessica-alba-gk-uk-1.jpgJessica Alba wants wiener. She's dying for some d! Won't someone give Jessica Alba a penis or three? She's asking for it, man! No, seriously. She's literally asking for it.

In the newest issue of UK GQ, perennial CNW fave Alba goes all Women's Studies 101 and launches a scathing attack on the double standard of the printed nip:

"Men's magazines have nipples so why don't women have a magazine where men show their penises? There's Playgirl but not a fashion magazine like Elle. If there was a magazine like that I'd buy it. Nudity's not a big deal to me . . . I've said I won't go naked in any of my movies, because I don't want to. But that doesn't mean I don't want to see other people strip off!"

Well, la di da, princess! Perhaps you'd also like us to all go completely nude and feed you grapes and fan you with palm fronds while you're swathed in some sort of giant, voluminous body covering complete with a brutal, spiked chastity belt? Jerk. Jerkbag. Mean jerk lady.

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Images via Egotastic!

Miz Alba shows some skin of her own at MrSkin.com.

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Sean Pasek July 6, 2007 at 3:02 pm

The writer of this messed-up article sounds very insecure and very inadequate. Got an inferiority complex, buddy?

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Jibber Ish July 7, 2007 at 6:21 pm

Bring your cam and lets do our own personal photo shoot, Jess.

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jessica alba is fuckin slamming July 8, 2007 at 6:47 pm

she could feed on my penis LOL… And what jibber ish said… couldn'rt agreed anymore…

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Titus77 August 10, 2007 at 6:42 am

It's Ms. Alba's preference to not show her ass crack, nipples or pubic hair (if she has any) in films or photos. She does, howevr, like seeing others show naughty bits. Why is this stance up for public ridicule? Get a life, people.

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