Jessica Simpson Can’t Catch a Break

jessica_simpson_missing_dog

A dingo did not take her baby, but a coyote did steal her lesbian malti-poo. Alas, poor Jessica Simpson. It’s bad enough she got unceremoniously dumped by Tony Romo. Now her dog Daisy has become Snausages to a desert cur. Last night Jessica took to Twitter and let us all know that

My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!

And she included the helpful flier to the left, which is a really good idea, because we’re certain once the coyote gets back to his den and logs into Twitter, he’ll see just how bad he screwed up, remove the be-curled moppet from his jaws, and return her to Jessica for a tidy reward.

Follow us on Twitter while you’re at it.

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WeirdArchives September 15, 2009 at 12:26 pm

Ah, man! You guys stop making light of this. Yeah, Jessica Simpson isn’t the sharpest pencil in the pack, but even she doesn’t have to deal with the grief of losing a dog by having to listen to bad jokes. I mean, the dog’s dead but please don’t put salt on the wound. Let the woman grieve in peace.

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lisa filippini September 17, 2009 at 9:11 pm

assholes leave jess alone she s not offering the coyottes a reward she just trying anything that helps hope you have to have hope ,,, i would of searched the mountains for my pups if it happened to me day and night till i could find her and mayby i couldnt find her but at least you have to try ,,, my heart goes out to her and poor little daisey

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jackie September 19, 2009 at 6:26 pm

man i lost a dog 2 yrs ago that i had for 13 yrs. it was heartbreaking. i am still not over it. most people who have these small pets treat them like children. i am sure daisy was treated like this. she must be heart broken and in denial at the same time. its a greiving process. its funny to some but disrespectful to others, i guess its all in how you value a pet.

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