We've mostly ignored the rumors that Jessica Simpson was porking Jude Law, 'cause, enh, why not? They both seem to have a goal of sharing bodily fluids with at least 76% of the world's population (they'll both skip over the really ugly ones). But now that Jude has proven his chops as an adolescent poet, we're in.
America's most eligible skank (oh, sorry, we mean second most eligible–no divorcÈe can knock Lindsay Lohan from her post) and the former sexiest man alive are one of the many high-profile couples said to have been seen cavorting at the Chateau Marmont recently, which happens to be the same place Jess was said to have gotten a good pipe cleaning from Adam Levine. Girl's been busy. But like any thirteen-year-old girl who likes boys almost as much as her Vanilla Smooch Bonne Bell Lip Smackers, Jessica has been swayed to the Jude side by some love notes and crude poetry. Star magazine claims that Jessica has been "deluged by a flood of e-mails, phone calls and text messages" since her hook-up with Jude.
A friend of Simpson says, "Jude is telling Jess that he 'hungers for her' and that he goes to sleep 'dreaming about her lips, her smell and her laugh'. It's a little corny, but Jessica is loving it."
We're sure that when Jessica shows up for cheerleading practice every morning and tells all her friends about what romantic things Jude said to her the night before, the high-pitched screeches of jealousy and joy can be heard all the way in the cafeteria.
Jessica's nude review at MrSkin.com.
