We here at WWTW have seen some opening weekend bombs. But this one may take the cake.
First, there’s “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters,” a 3D wanna-be blockbuster starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as the two fairy tale characters now grown and are, you guessed it, witch hunters for hire. Though the film topped the box office, it only earned $18 million, which for a 3D actioner is pretty lousy. Then there’s “Parker,” the latest Jason Statham ass kicker that even with a marquee director, Taylor Hackford, and the bootylicious Jennifer Lopez as eye candy could only take in $7.2 million for 5th place. And lastly, there’s “Movie 43.” Huh, what can we say about this one. Imagine top directors and movies stars from Kate Winslet, to Richard Gere to Naomi Watts to Emma Stone all coming together for a movie that no one watches. Earning only $4 million, this could go down as one of Hollywood’s biggest failures. And you know everyone involved ran for cover when none of the talent goes out to promote it (well, Common was on ESPN’s SportsCenter, but we don’t recall him ever mentioning he’s in the movie) and the studio wouldn’t allow critics to watch it beforehand.
Yes, there was a lot of negative things to focus on this weekend at the box office, but let’s see if we can turn this around and bring some positivity with out who won the week hopefuls.
Jeremy Renner – “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters”
It’s been a busy few years for Renner. Success of the latest “Mission Impossible” sequel, “The Avengers” and taking the “Bourne” franchise reigns, a dud like “Hansel & Gretel” certainly isn’t going to phase him. In fact, the only news about Renner this week was the tabloids trying to track down who the mystery baby mama is to his next big project, becoming a father.
Jason Statham – “Parker”
Here’s the thing about Jason Statham. As much as we want to make fun of his slim-plotted action movies and his one-note bad-ass characters, the Brit has found a void in Hollywood that has needed to be filled by the aging stars of the action genre (yes, pretty much all of his co-stars in “The Expendables” films). And you know, sooner or later you’re going to watch his movies when they hit DVD/Bluray, streaming or the movie channels. So, at the end of the day Statham is having the last laugh.
And the winner is…
So that’s why it’s an easy choice to choose Statham as this week’s winner. And him standing behind me right now as I type this has nothing to do with it. Honestly, you know what you get with a Jason Statham movie, but compare that to a pair of characters from a Brothers Grimm story pumped with testosterone to make it more appealing to action movie fans or a movie about nothing starring A-list talent, watching him for 90 minutes doesn’t sound half bad.
Does that work for you Mr. Statham?