Jennifer Love Hewitt Knows How to Dress Appropriately

jennifer-love-hewitt-bikini-tennis1Hey fellow bloggers, we’ve got a little beef with you today. Everywhere we look we see Jennifer Love Hewitt here in her bikini, jauntily playing tennis and basketball as girls in bikinis are naturally wont to do (Seriously, going to the beach in a bikini? That takes no imagination). But instead of mocking her hoops companion Jamie Kennedy or her oh-so-athletic choice of footwear, everyone seems to be saying, “Ew gross, looks at how fat she is, I’m gonna barf, etc. etc. etc.” Really? That’s fat? Have you been to your local Wal-Mart lately? Because we’re pretty sure Jen’s whole body could fit into one pant leg of a typical Wal-Mart shopper. And while Jen’s juicy ass and thighs look like they’re fed by a bit more than celery sticks (which is a very good thing in our opinion), we don’t think her shopping cart would be filled with dozens of identical boxes of sausage and cheese Hot Pockets and double stuffed E.L. Fudge cookies.
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Inspector S. August 4, 2009 at 9:53 am

Don’t you talk about E.L. Fudge like that.

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WeirdArchives August 4, 2009 at 10:59 am

I’m conflicted here. On the one hand, I have no problem with hot babes in bikinis exercising. Whatever works to melt those pounds into lean muscle, I support wholeheartedly. However, this is Jennifer Love Hewitt and she’s not exactly sex bomb material. Even back when she was hot stuff at the box office, I wasn’t that attracted to her. She’s cute and she can be trouble in the right circumstances, but she’s not the “I’ll go to jail with the meanest motherfucking man-rapists in the two universes for her, even if she killed fifty men in cold blood!” type. Pay her traffic ticket, perhaps, but for the above mentioned intensity…you’ll have to try Danica Patrick. (And she better have some sweeet nudes for me when I get out! ;) )

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wondertrash August 4, 2009 at 11:23 am

I wonder where she keeps her shuttlecock.

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meh August 4, 2009 at 11:25 am

meh would still tap that.

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wondertrash August 4, 2009 at 11:25 am

I wonder where she keeps her shuttlecock

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Inspector S. August 4, 2009 at 12:28 pm

She could store lots of things in her fivehead.

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