Jennifer Garner seems about as wholesome as a Pottery Barn basket filled with downy baby kittens. She probably spends her days cleaning pudding stains out of onsies while simultaneously roasting a chicken, wallpapering the powder room, and teaching her children conversational French. Or so you would think. Really, she’s busy giving foot jobs to dolphins. OK, she only did it once. And she didn’t do it on porpoise. Hi yo! We’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
Jennifer Garner Jacked off Flipper
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Funny, I always thought she was actually a worshiper of the Dark Prince. Y’know, with a bedroom all decked out in black with a blood red pentagram on the floor, a black lace poster bed with shackles at all four ends, black and red candles all over the place and a stained-glass ceiling with runes all over. She chains up her husband Ben Affleck buck naked and tries to sire a male child to bring upon the Apocalypse every full moon. She has about the largest collection of bondage and S&M material on the West Coast. Hell, she probably has clitoral jewelry with enough black onyx and engraved oaths to Hell that would make the Church of Satan nervous and more daggers than Angelina Jolie could score at a Moroccan bazaar during ‘Buy One, Get Two Free’ Day.
Yeah, she’s got some darkness about her. I know it.
Nahhh that was Marth Stewart… All I can say is… WAY TO SCORE FLIPPER!!!! DOLPHINS RLUE!!!
Oh, bullshit! Martha Stewart couldn’t attract a minor demon from the First Circle. They all know she’s evil and a minor leaguer at that. It’s Jennifer Garner who wants to be the Bride of the Beast. C’mon!
Anyone want to know how long I have that particular posting in waiting? Believe me, I so wanted to use it, but I never found the line until recently.
are we talking about the same J.G. that left her first husband due to an affair which i belive was followed by another?
In a word…yes.
An affair on her part or Scott’s?
I think she and Ben are so made for each other!
yep… she jacks off animals and Ben is a jackoff… Y’all can’t fix stupid!!!