January Jones Walk of Shame

Stars have oodles of cash, houses with platinum bidets, personal chefs, perfect skin, designer clothes, and a neverending string of the most attractive sexual partners humankind has to offer. Schlubs like you and me have rentals that smell like hamster cages, student loan debt, a closet full of TJ Maxx, and a freezer full of Totino’s Party Pizzas from Aldi. But the next time you’re watching the Oscars on your broken Daewoo TV and cursing your life, remember this: at least when you do the walk of shame home the morning after hooking up with some random at a party, paparazzi do not film you doing so, like they did last night with January Jones, who returned home the next morning wearing the same dress she’s worn to an event the night before.. Haha. Suck it, celebrities. I lift my bottle of off-brand sale soda to you in triumph!