If you purchase a Bentley, you are going to go out and you are going to drive the shit out of it in front of as many people as possible. You are not going to be like Cameron Frye's dad and hide that thing in a glass garage in the wilds of Chicago's North Shore. Similarly, if you pay a highly regarded personal trainer top dollar to melt away the flab you piled on while stressed about your brother being a kid-toucher, you're gonna show those washboard abs off. Naked. In Vibe magazine. And by "you" we mean "Janet". Miss Rack-son if you're nasty.
Janet is such a mystery. Other stars will happily run off at the mouth about their favorite color, what they got for Christmas, their exercise regimen. But what do we know about Janet? We know she looks an awful lot like Michael would have looked, had he been born a lady, gotten 1/2 the plastic surgery, and remained black. We know that she likes cutting tracks on which she whispers over a drum track. We know . . . well, that's pretty much it. But we are willing to deal with Janet's secrecy so long as she uses her peculiarly buff form to do the talking. She's appearing naked on the cover of Vibe . . . well, naked save for an arm across her yams. She does enjoy going topless while using someone's upper appendages as a bra, that Janet. She says to expect more of the same, and that she'll only stop getting naked "when I'm 80 . . . That's when I'll call it quits." Speaking of naked, she was asked about the infamous Boobgate incident, and she snapped:
It's just over and done with. It's old. It's the past. It's history. I'm onto something new. Everybody got their licks in – those who wanted to – and it's done.
Au contraire, Janet. In fact, right now thousands of our readers' tongues are left dry, empty, lickless at the thought of Janet's bejeweled, Timberlake-exposed teat.
See that boob in HD! Let MrSkin lend a hand!
