A word of warning to those of you who start your weekend on Thursday and are nursing a wicked hangover this morning: we are about to describe Michael Jackson's boner after the cut. Proceed at your own risk.
Private investigator Ernie Rizzo, who was hired by the family of Jackson's 1993 accuser, tells our beloved Page Six that the pop freak's more recent accuser may be able to provide particularly incriminating evidence if the child can describe Mike's wang. Rizzo, who saw photographs of Jackson's genitals in 1993, says that because Jackson bleaches his body twice weekly, his penis has a distinctive "pattern" when aroused.
"It looks like a barber's pole," Rizzo said. "That's exactly what it looks like. The first kid and all the other kids who have seen his penis know that there are brown circles around it. If the second kid is allowed to testify, this will come into question . . . Jackson doesn't have [the skin-whitening disease] vitiligo. Debbie Rowe got him the bleach ó she used to work for the dermatologist . . . There has never been any dermatologist who has come forward on his behalf to say he has vitiligo."
We would elaborate on these accusations, maybe make some sort of peppermint stick-pedophilia joke, but we have to go grab our Borax and wire brush and take our eighth shower of the morning. So, so dirty . . . Still . . . not . . . clean . . .
