It's official: Jennifer Lopez's latest album, Rebirth, has barely sold 400,000 copies, making it a bona fide dog biscuit. To deflect attention from the poor sales, Lopez recently blinded onlookers with her wide gluteal plateau, clad in a white bikini. Shock and awe!
The lack of juicy gossip this week has reduced us to Jay Leno-level "J. Lo has a fat butt! Am I right or am I right, people?" jokes. We apologize.
People at the J. Lo camp are pointing the finger at the fact that Mrs. Anthony refuses to tour to support the album for reasons unknown. Reasons unknown? Pish posh–we all heard that godawful, Telemundo-inspired duet with her hubby at the Grammys. Girl cannot hit a single sweet note. In American Idolspeak, her shit is mad pitchy. And we live in a cautious post-Ashlee-on-SNL world here; who wants to get caught pulling a Milli Vanilli with nothing to blame it on except acid reflux? The news isn't all bad for J. Lo, though–she had a number one single, "Get Right", in the UK last month, proving once again that Brits will eat up every last drop of fetid puke spewn forth from a famous person if you call it "pop".
In other news, although Lopez's album may barely make gold, she's still got an A+ heinie that's 100% platinum. Check out some bikini shots provided by the good upstanding Americans over at Drunken Stepfather.
And, of course, you can see Jennifer Lopez's Nude Review at MrSkin.com
See Jennifer Lopez at MrSkin.com
