Much like that dude you hooked up with at the Omega Xi All-You-Can-Drink Spina Bifida Benefit Jammy-Jam last month, Scientology is totally denying that they gave Katie Holmes the herp.
If the list of popular search terms on our stats page is to be believed, CelebNewsWire readers love one thing above all others: "katie holmes herpes". It's been awhile, but we are happy–nay, delighted–to bring you more news of K-Hole's mouth scourge.
Rumors are flying that Kate's lesions of yore were caused not by kissing Tom Crazybrains or the herpes simplex virus. Apparently, Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard claimed that taking niacin (vitamin B3), in combination with diet and exercise, purges the body of impurities (and thetans?). The vitamin, in regular doses, does lower cholesterol and boost circulation; however, larger doses may cause an angry red rash, like the one K-Hole was sporting a scant few months ago. Holmes was kidnapped and brainwashed by joined the cuckoo cult completely valid religion recently, but Scientology spokespeople refuse to take the blame for her oral "issues". An official said: "Whatever you see on her face has got nothing to do with us. It's insulting that you would ask such a thing." You heard that, Catholicism? Katie Holmes's STDs are YOUR problem, buddy.
Katie Holmes in all her glory, at MrSkin.com.
