CNW Junk Drawer: Best Use of Lasers in a Photo Since My 5th Grade Picture

• IMPORTANT NOTE: CNW will be on vacation for the rest of the week and will return Monday, March 22. Try to deal.
• Heidi Klum is naked in the new issue of Allure! Kind of naked. Naked with shaving cream and laser lights. (The Blemish)
• Gabourey Sidibe rules, everyone else can cram it and here’s why. (Celebitchy)
• Amy Poehler and Will Arnett are expecting another super funny baby. (PopEater)
• Kendra Wilkinson takes a break from constantly talking about her post-baby body to talk about her teenage cocaine addiction. (Yeeeah!)
• Michael Lohan had a heart attack. I had a fart attack this morning so I can relate. (Pop on the Pop)
• Why you no be our Facebook friend? Doooo it. (Facebook)
• Michael Jackson just closed a $200 million dollar recording deal with Sony, which marks the biggest record deal by a corpse since they signed Marc Anthony. (The Hollywood Gossip)
• Stephanie Seymour goes swimming, slips nip. Insert “see more” joke here. (The Superficial)
• All the fun of St. Patrick’s Day minus the paunchy ex-frat guys in stupid novelty hats. A countdown of hot celebrity St. Pats! (Mr. Skin)

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Tagged as: ailing celebs, Amy Poehler, celebrity pregnancies, drugs, Gabourey Sidibe, Heidi Klum, Kendra Wilkinson, Michael Jackson, Michael Lohan, nip slips, Stephanie Seymour, Will Arnett