Heidi Klum Is the Enemy of Tan Lines

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German through and through.

Heidi Klum: she’s tall, she has fifty children, she models, she acts, she hosts, she sings songs about shiny stars and jingle bells. Is there anything she can’t do? There is: wear a bikini top. She recently told PopEater that the only thing worse than tan lines is ageism in swimwear.

“I love tanning my body and I don’t love tan lines necessarily. I don’t think too much about what other people think or if they think this woman is too old to wear just a bikini or a bikini bottom. I come from Europe so I’m not American. It is very different here than it is German or Italy. I grew up with men wearing Speedos on the beach and topless women on the beach at any age.”

God, that’s sexy. There is nothing quite like taking one of the world’s most beautiful women and then imagining her breasts covered in malignant melanoma while surrounded with topless grandmas and dudes in grape-smugglers. Tell us more, Heidi, don’t hold back.

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