We're the kind of people who leave our Christmas lights and animatronic waving Santa out until April. The type who likes to have Turkey leftovers until Dec. 17th. And the type of people who thumb our nose at The Man and plant trees allll fuckin' year, man, not just Arbor Day. So we'd like you to join us in extending the Halloween season. Take our hand, and together we'll enjoy watching young Hollywood turn Halloween into HO-lloweener.
First up is Paris Hilton, naturally. Since her first Halloween outside of the womb, Paris has been rocking the classic "sexy" costumes: sexy cat, sexy nun, sexy devil, sexy proctologist. This year, Paris stepped up her game by transforming herself into a sexy bunny wabbit. That's right, she's sporting everything a modern rabbit needs: fluffy tail, long ears, lacy lingerie, and Ortho-Evra, the birth control patch.
Of course Christina Aguilera is also going to be jumping on the sexy costume bandwagon. Can you imagine Xtina dressed up as a gorilla, or a zombie, or, say, Mr. Belvedere? You can't. So here she is administering some TLC via T&A as a sexy nurse. And that's her fiance, Jordan Bratman, as a sexy doctor. Wait, did we say "sexy"? We meant "simian".
Only a truly confident woman will throw caution to the wind, piss on all the hookery costumes, and don something truly horrifying. That's why we're giving this year's Great Pumpkin award to the transcendently awesome Heidi Klum for her utterly creepy zombie bride costume. Only an honestly beautiful girl is comfortable with getting that ugly. That's the Halloween spirit!
Last, and totally least, is Lindsay Lohan. Now, the Hohan starred in Mean Girls, which you may remember totally ripped on the whole "sexy kitty cat" phenomenon thusly: "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." The sarcasm was lost on poor Linds, and so, obliviously, she pulled on her sexy fire marshall(???) outfit. The irony is that she was going for "sexy", but ended up "terrifying". It took us a full 20 minutes of staring to discern that she wasn't, in fact, in costume as Kelly Osbourne.
See Paris sans costume at MrSkin.com.
And Xtina, too.
And they've got Heidi, too, for sure.
And there's always Lindsay's Nude Review.
Halloween Costumes of the Rich and Trampy
Previous post: Brangelina and the Call of the Wild, Part II
Next post: Jennifer Aniston Loves (Pretend) Sex with Coworkers
