Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubrey Kind of Hate Each Other

Last week, Halle Berry‘s extra attractive turkey baster Gabriel Aubrey claimed that Halle was pretty much stalking him in a mean and vindictive way. This came after he filed a petition with the court to be legally recognized as their daughter’s father. Both of these things were surprising because I thought people this beautiful didn’t have problems. They have creamy, blemish-free skin and a steely gaze that weakens knees, but problems… never. People says:

Halle Berry says she’s preparing to go to court with her ex Gabriel Aubrey over custody of their 2 ½-year-old daughter Nahla.

“Halle has serious concerns for her daughter’s well-being while in the care of her father for any extended period of time and is prepared to take all necessary steps to protect her,” the actress’s rep tells PEOPLE. “She has attempted to resolve these custody issues amicably with her daughter’s father, Gabriel Aubry, directly, but given his lack of cooperation, Halle has no choice but to seek swift judicial intervention,” her rep says.

Swift judicial intervention. That sounds terrifying, like a flock of judges will alight on your lawn, black robes flapping, and club you in the knees Gilooly style with their gavels. “Let’s see you try to parent a child now, pretty boy.”

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