We have two reasons for wanting to relay a story involving beloved flabby Frenchman GÈrard Depardieu. 1) Obviously, so we could use the photo at the left, and 2) so we could mutter "Le Beast" every twenty seconds and keep ourselves in giggles all morning. Oh, plus we can't pass up a story that involves head butting. IMDB reports:
French film star Gerard Depardieu has been ordered to appear in court over his attack on an Italian photographer two years ago. The Green Card actor head-butted the photographer during a shopping trip in Florence, Italy with a female companion. Dario Orlandi was taken to hospital after the attack and claims he could not work for four days – however, Depardieu maintains he warned the snapper to leave him alone. Speaking just after the incident the fiery Frenchman said, "(I said) 'Now be nice, you've taken your pictures, leave us be.' 'This isn't a safari: there are risks and the risk is that you will get my head in your face.' Then he said: 'Gerard, I'll leave you alone.' I go out and this guy keeps snapping me to death… I put my hands in my pockets and I ask him why he hadn't listened to what I had told him. He tells me untruthfully, taking me for an idiot: 'Gerard, I'm not taking pictures.' So my head delivers a single butt, which means two teeth less, and to tell you the truth, I'm pretty satisfied." He has been summoned to appear in a Florence court.
We're not really up on our French street-fighting moves, but since when does head butting involve teeth? Is Le Beast telling us that a "single butt" includes the four incisors lodging themselves temporarily into the victim's forehead, but a dreaded "double butt" adds the sharp canines to the move? And most importantly, did any of this photog butting action take place while GÈrard was wearing a woefully undersized Speedo? Because in our imagination it did.
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I'm pretty sure that "two teeth less" line inferred that he knocked that fat, pastry faced punk flat on his ass, and that two of said pastry-porkers teeth were probably lying there next to him.