We thought that if there was one thing we could trust in this crazy mixed-up world it was Vincent Gallo. But, alas, he has duped our frail and innocent minds. That wasn't really his penis. Now our recurring nightmare must be redirected toward someone else.
We know you've seen it, ChloÎ Sevigny chomping away on Vinnie's man meat. We also know that any pleasure you may have mustered over this vision was cruelly destroyed by the thought of the face attached to the salacious act. We've been there. Well, we've got good news. It seems that Gallo used a stunt penis. And he didn't even pay the willie wielder. Jacob Christner has revealed that it was his dingly-dangly that garnered all of ChloÎ's attention in Gallo's film The Brown Bunny. Like the true modern man that we assume him to be, he released this statement to the internet: "I'm very disappointed. I was assured by the producers that I was gonna ride Vincent Gallo's dick all the way to Hollywood but it looks like I've gotten the shaft." Thanks, Jacob, now we have the image of some random guy riding Vincent Gallo's dick. And in our mind's eye Jacob looks an awful lot like Mickey Rourke. This image makes us yearn for yesterday's icky thoughts about Pat O'Brien.
Nude Review of The Brown Bunny available at MrSkin.com.
