Hey guys! Guess what? Britney Spears is posing naked in Playboy and then after that she's going to run for president and then go to the moon and then become a Franciscan nun! LOLOLOL fooled yoooou! April Fool's! Oh ho ho, such delicious folly! What a hilarious coup on our behalf! Oh lord, the chuckling! The chuckling!
Now that that's out of the way, Eva Longoria remains obsessed with her ass, and talking about her ass. That will never change, and we find it somewhat comforting. Reports our gossip gym spotter, Female First:
Eva said: "I love doing squats in the gym. When I do them my butt beefs up and I fill out my jeans better. I'm constantly working on my butt because of, you know, gravity."
The 33-year-old actress – who married basketball star Tony Parker last July – fears it will become harder to keep her bottom in trim after she has had children.
She said: "I'm nervous about what's going to happen back there when I have children. I'm full of fear. I don't want anything happening to the butt."
You know another good way to fill out your jeans? Incontinence. Having no control over your bowels or bladder. Which is something, coincidentally, that can happen after childbirth. So worry not, tiny Eva. If pregnancy leaves you with a sub-par ass, just let loose with a torrent of urine to plump up the fibers in your Juicy sweatpants. Instant bootiliciousness! And next day diaper rash. It's cool, though. Desitin is the new Gentle Warming Lube.
Get a Longoria! Eva's at MrSkin.com.
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