Dear John, Your Girlfriend’s Got Nice Bazooms

We like Amanda Seyfried. She seems nice. And unlike most actresses her age, she doesn’t induce in us an urge to run a jagged fingernail across our eyeball. But sweet Moses’ beard, there is nothing in this world that could make us watch Dear John. It’s like The Notebook! But with war! Yay! We even came up with a list of things we would enjoy more than seeing that weepy wound. We would rather hunt down Jesse Camp in whatever far flung gutter he’s residing and give him a lap dance than watch Dear John. We would rather volunteer our services as Paula Abdul’s personal therapist than watch Dear John. We would rather salve up Channing Tatum’s barbequed ball bag than watch Dear John. We would rather get impregnated by Lil Wayne than watch Dear John. But luckily we will not have to do any of these things in order to see Amanda’s pale palookas smushed together at the Dear John premiere.  She’s just giving that stuff away for free. See, we told you she seemed nice.

Related posts:

Tagged as: Amanda Seyfried, boobs, cleavage