Courtney Love made a long list of New Year's resolutions. While quite interesting and in depth, the list surprisingly omits any promises to "not beat anyone (strangers, ex-boyfriends' skeezy new hookup tramps, journalists) with beer bottles, microphone stands, high heels, etc." Hmmm. It must have slipped her mind.
After breaking Courtney's highly skilled code of transposed letters, missing punctuation, and other mind fuckery, we gleaned a few gems. A few of our favorites:
sell the pony get a new horsetake nothing personally.
learn an asian language.
dont take ìnoî for an answer ( if appropriate) and chase after what i want
cultivate real and deep relationships with others
dont peek at tabloids and bad websites, as it absouloutly shatters the Law to make that cause agiants yourself.
have fantastic sex with commitment and honour with someone whoo treats me as i deserve and dont give my power away
learn about money
know that 07 is going to be the very best year of my entire life to date
dont go to nightclubs with 19 year olds. (Sorry, honey, L.L's 20.)
chant daimoku for my worst enemies who are not enemies of me persoanlly but whp project thier own insecurities onto me and onto my past drug problem.
do not allow myself to be a doormat in relationships ever again
DO NOT SLLOW MYSELF TO BE A DOORMAT INA RELATIONSHIP EVER EVER AGAIN. (In case she didn't say it loud enough the first time.)
learn at least three new skills
get hoous ein UK and Loft in NY or Apt in Cetrakl Park West.
no more surgery for any reason other than medical until i really need it in my 60s
The list goes on an on, and you read it here, but we just can't get past that last one. We're assuming the twenty-year moratorium is on plastic surgery in hopes of staving off any cries of "Hey, look, it's Joan Rivers" for a couple more decades, but who knows. Perhaps CLove has replaced all the booze and pills and horse in her life with a new addiction: elective surgery. Maybe she and a likeminded pal routinely swap kidneys to get their thrills. But the biggest rush in this game comes from the complicated hip-replacement surgery, and Courtney's wisely waiting until her golden years to attempt that one.
Your New Year's resolution? See more of Courtney Love naked. Make it happen at MrSkin.com.
