That rumor you may have heard about Courtney Love being asked to be the new judge on American Idol? Yeah, that's not happening. It was all just a failed prank for The All New Super Edgy and Totally Cool Candid Camera, except the crew toked up before placing the call and forgot to set up the cameras, then devolved into giggles and Hot Pocket binges and forgot to let Courtney know that it was all a joke before she went blabbing about it.
Don't get us wrong–Paula Abdul is about as crazy as a sack full of kittens fighting over a catnip-covered dead mouse, but Courtney Love she is not. Has Paula ever thrown her mysterious-liquid-filled Idol-issued cup at a particularly horrendous contestant? We don't think so. Has she ever climbed over the judges' table after being so turned on by a performance that she just had to whip out her tit and rub it all over the singer's face? No. Not on camera, anyway. This is why the Courtney Love/American Idol rumor delighted us so. But, alas, it was not to be. Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe told Us Weekly:
I did not call Courtney Love and am afraid someone may have misrepresented me. Courtney Love is a very talented artist, but the judges for American Idol are Paula, Randy and Simon. We have no plans to add to or replace any of them.
Courtney also responded with a very long, very mistake-ridden (save for a few semi-articulate, clear, possibly publicist-ghost-written phrases) missive on her website, which you can peruse at Defamer if you've got the time to figure out what she means by terms like "lofe" and "2wo." We'd rather spend our time coming up with future CLove pranks. We think our first attempt will center around a reality-show pitch in which Courtney would move in with Jocelyn Wildenstein and become her protÈgÈe, with Madame Wildy teaching Court the finer points of eyeliner application, the proper way to skin a live leopard and wrap its pelt around your body, and how to punch yourself in the face moments before hitting a red carpet for that desirable flush of youth.
Courtney Love, younger and nakeder at MrSkin.com.
