Colin Farrell: A Sick Puppy, But Not F'ed in the A

Dessarae Bradford is a queen; a goddess walking amongst mortals. We read her classic tome I Fu*ked Alec Baldwin In His A*s, and we laughed, we cried. The accomplished author has penned a new self-published masterpiece, Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy, about her claims that the filthy Irish actor is stalking her. We say "claims", because Ms. Bradford failed a lie detector test in regards to her Farrell adventures. If this woman doesn't have her own VH1 reality show by the end of next week, I'll eat my hat.

Bradford recently appeared on PAX's show Lie Detector, taking a polygraph to prove her claims that Colin Farrell stalked her after hiring her for phone sex. However, she failed the test, and when the show's host, Rolanda Watts, broke the news to her, Bradford went cuckoo all called Watts a "whore". Yes, the phone sex operator and woman of the night called the PAX talk show host a "whore". Bradford ranted, "I was set up. I think Colin's lawyer and the people who handle his image have spent tens of thousands of dollars to manipulate the outcome of the show. He became obsessed with me, so they tried to chew me up in the Hollywood machine." But Watts shot back, "She called me a Hollywood whore. It's the first time I've ever wanted to walk out of an interview. I wanted to jump across that table and strangle her." Lie Detector's executive producer Mark Phillips, master of sarcasm, chuckled, "Yes, Colin Farrell paid me $2 million, and he gave me a cashier's check." Farrell's rep added, "We don't know her. As far as I know, her case was dismissed in Santa Monica City Court on March 24." Let this be a lesson to you, Dessarae: NOBODY FUCKS WITH PAX.

Tagged as: Colin Farrell, Dessarae Bradford, television