CNW Junk Drawer: Speeding Tickets and Sk8r Bois

ï American Idol also-ran and possible Paula-porker Corey Clark wields salisbury steak and curly fries like they wuz deadly weapons. Straight up!

ï Awwww. Look at the cute gay midget. It thinks it's butch.

ï Jen Aniston's not a playa; she just hugs a lot.

ï The charming Nicole Richie gives Paris a run for her money in the paid partygoer department; tragically misplaces her breasts in the process.

ï Victoria Silvstedt continues sex-drenched vacation, loses li'l Napoleon consort, shows off surgeon's work.

ï We could've sworn we'd heard that Avril Lavigne and that one dude from that one band were engaged months ago, but they really are now, for real this time.

ï Erstwhile Erkel-esque "comedian" Chris Tucker gets pulled over for speeding; makes us laugh for the first time ever!

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