ï Anorexia, asthma, crummy tonsils, kidney problems, throat cysts, childhood OCD. It's a wonder Jessica Alba lived past puberty.
ï Osama Bin Laden: valiantly trying to wipe out America's population of electroclash holdovers.
ï Kate Moss loses 120 lbs. of ugly, useless flesh; possibly picks up a Jackass.
ï Nicole Kidman plans to take a year or two off acting. We suspect that when she returns, she'll have mysteriously taken more than a year or two off her looks.
ï Two impossibly good-looking WB stars' three-month old marriage on the rocks? If Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray can't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?
ï The diabolical Mischa Barton plays the TomKat game.
ï Brittany Murphy proves that nothing sells jeans quite like a lack of jeans.
