ï Brittany Murphy has ended her engagement to best boy/grip Joe Macaluso. Brittany, do you actually think you’re going to be able to do better? He’s the BEST boy, for Christ’s sake!
ï “Kevin Federline mauled by rap community.” God, if only that headline were literal.
ï Janet Jackson says that fiancÈ Jermaine Dupri sexually takes her to places she’s never been before. Oh, like the Ewok Village? Get it? Cuz he’s short.
ï Proving you can never have too much of a good thing: even more pictures of the expansive side of Lindsay Lohan’s enormous, speckled breast.
ï And Lindsay‘s dad is quite the little Jim Davis, taking pen to paper and cartooning the demons pulling his daughter from his fatherly embrace. Impressive, but we would have drawn Lindsay crying “ACK!” and holding a bikini on a hanger to illustrate her body-image issues.
ï A devious, scrawny mammal that steals sneakily, and Kevin Federline. One and the same, friends, but which one has more facial hair?
ï Britney angrily refused to allow Jessica Simpson to kiss her pregnant belly.
ï Beyonce and Jay-Z are planning a $3 million wedding. Bet the courtesy gift bag will be fabulous!
ï Jessica Simpson is now hawking hairpieces. What is she, a Mandrell?
