ï Hilary Duff has dropped her older emo craprocker lover with MySpace hair.
ï She’s also dropped the lower 2 inches off those much-maligned veneers. Neiggggh!
ï J. Lo can’t seem to make a baby. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that her husband is a reanimated corpse. That was mean.
ï In this crazy age of full-on spread pink labia in our faces, it’s kind of refreshing and titillating to see a lady in a bikini. Good on ya, Kelly Brook.
ï Rihanna, on the other hand, is taking a page from the Merry DivorcÈe and serving up lippage.
ï Britney has mysteriously pulled out of planned joint Billboard Awards hosting duties, leaving Paris to go it solo. That marks the very first time you’ve ever heard “Britney” and “pulled out” in the same sentence.
ï Borat blamed for the Pam Anderson-Kid Rock split. In related news, Borat causes global warming, racial profiling was Borat’s idea, and Borat sold all that vodka to Mel Gibson.
ï Note to Snoop: YOU HAVE MONEY. HIRE SOMEONE TO CARRY YOUR DRUGS AND GUNS FOR YOU.
