I think this was, literally, the most budget day in celebrity gossip history. I mean, I wrote stories about Aaron Carter and Steve Harvey, guys. That’s even worse than the few months I wrote about nothing except Stavros Niarchos and Riley Giles. Those seem like halcyon days now, as I sit here composing copy about Tiffany and Jon Knight. Since nothing happened last minute aside from Ted Williams taking his macaroni and cheese spoils and bolting out of rehab, we may as well discuss the Superbowl. It was just announced that Christina Aguilera will be lending her perfect voice and pickled liver to sing the National Anthem, and says in a press release:
“I have been performing the anthem since I was 7 years old, and I must say the Super Bowl is a dream come true. I am really excited to be part of such an iconic event.”
A voice as powerful and stirring as Christina Aguilera’s is a fitting choice for an event as exalted and regal as the Superbowl. It’s a showcase for the two greatest teams in America to go head-to-head and for the country to come together in the name of sportsmanship. It’s also a place for guys to dry hump and wipe boogers on each other.
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tell me: WHAT ELSE?
(americans are very easy entertained)