We come to work every morning, get a nice cup of coffee, spray ourselves down with some Lysol in hopes of getting the stink of that spilled Long Island iced tea off of our clothes, and hope for some good gossip. You know, like Jennifer Aniston got bit by a rabid dog and is now foaming at the mouth and wandering the streets in search of Angelina Jolie so that she can bite the hell out of that bitch. That would be a good one. But some days all we get is a couple of minor celebritiesí dogs picking on Tinkerbell.
So youíre still technically a celebrity but you donít have a viable product on the market and no one seems to be talking about your bad boob job/miraculous weight loss and you canít get the paparazzi to take your picture even if you follow Mary-Kate Olsen into a crowded bathroom stall while dangling a huge bag of cocaine in front of their cameras. What do you do? If youíre Tori Spelling or Missy Elliott you get a dog and put a t-shirt on it that says, "I hate Tinkerbell, that bitch has everything." And if youíre the lady better known as Donna Martin you even buy a t-shirt for yourself that says, "My dog can beat up Paris Hilton's dog." This shit is pretty weak. Back in May when we reported that Tori had one too many mint juleps at a Kentucky Derby party and ran her tongue all over Usherís orgy-participating hand, we had hope that our favorite horse-faced girl was going to provide us with some interesting gossip in the months to come. And we get this. Tori better start pounding some J‰ger shots and talking Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie into a televised pay-per-view threeway or sheís never going to cross our minds again.
See Tori's acting abilities at MrSkin.com.
