Christ on a cross, there are so many pictures of female celebrities in bikinis floating around today, we don't even know what to do with ourselves today. Aside from "playing" with ourselves, but that's generally frowned upon in the workplace, which we found out when we were working the night shift at the medical examiner's office. Stupid sexy corpses.
1. Hayden Panettiere
Hayden's on Heroes. She plays a cheerleader. She's seventeen years old, but she's not exactly naked. Still, if you look at these pictures on your computer, Chris Hansen will show up at your house with a camera crew and you will cry at your kitchen table with your hands over your head, saying, "Mah life's overrrrr!" (More pics here)
2. Eva Mendes
Eva once claimed that she could magically control the size of her bajoongas. Today she deflated them for maximum swimming speed. That was an incredibly weak joke but she looks completely un-make-funnable. Humbled. (More pics here)
3. Mariah Carey
It's our beloved Glitterfly, Mimi. How does one achieve a state of constant cheesecakey pinup posing? Does she have assistants contort and tape down her body into various Vargas poses at night? (More pics here)
4. Hilary Swank
Haha, just fooling! That's Matt Damon in a bikini. (More pics here)
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