In the past, soldiers stationed overseas stroked their AKs while looking at pinups of Betty Grable, Ava Gardner, and Raquel Welch. Now another actress has signed on to uplift the troops' morales by posing for sexy pinups: former Kutcher schtup-puppet Brittany Murphy has agreed to model her spectacularly pointy chin in an upcoming issue of Maxim, after its editor promised her that he'd send 40,000 copies to the troops in Iraq with a special personal message from the actress. "Taking that picture was the least that I could possibly do," she says. Yeah. Thanks a lot.
U.S. Troops in Iraq Receive Brittany Murphy Maxim Pictorial: A Play in One Act
The scene: three U.S. soldiers taking a much-needed break while stationed in Iraq. The day is sweltering; the soldiers are feeling homesick and depressed.
GI #1: (opening large box)Sa-weet! Maxim sent us some magazines!
GI #2: Give 'em here, give 'em here!
GI #3: Yeah, fork 'em over!
GI #1: Man, I can't wait to take a look at the hottie in the pictorial.
GI #3: Saying, though. My morale is mad low after I got both my legs blown off in Fallujah.
(all look at magazine)
(dead silence)
GI #2: Who's that?
(all think hard)
GI #1: That girl from American Beauty? Tina something. Tina Sumari?
GI #2: No, no, that's not her, that's Juliette Lewis.
GI #3: Fuck you, dude! That is NOT Juliette Lewis. That's what's-her-name from 8 Mile.
GIs #1 and #2: 8 Mile?
GI #3: Yeah. You know, the Eminem trailer-park movie.
GI #2: (looking visibly disturbed) The one where she licks her hand and then–
GI #3: Yeah.
(all silent, look at pictures with brows furrowed)
GI #2: Um, I think I have to go, uh, practice marching? Now?
GI #3: (puts down magazine, uncomfortably looks at ground) Well, these boots aren't gonna shine themselves.
GI #1: Yeah, I think I better go . . . help with the . . . peace . . . effort. Or something.
fin
Brittany Murphy's Nude Review at MrSkin.com.
