Britney Spears thinks her body is getting so hot she wants to commission a nude painting of herself. But not if she gets carted off to rehab first. What's wrong? Why are you crying? The Britney stories getting too predictable for you? You want a little variety with your morning gossip? OK. Tomorrow we'll try to throw in a story about Brit giving up partying to devote all her energy to inventing a new kind of tampon or going to the zoo and getting her ear bitten off by an elephant or something.
First up, what would have been the hottest news of 2001: Britney wants nudie pictures of herself. Sayeth the gossip world's Donatella Versace (see, cause they're both so delightfully trashy you just have to love them) FemaleFirst:
The 'Toxic' singer has finally got back in shape following the birth of her second son, Jayden James, and is so proud of her figure she wants it "immortalised" in a painting.A source told Britain's More magazine: "Britney's been getting in better and better shape since she split with Kevin and wants her body immortalised in a portrait.
"She loves the film 'Titanic', especially the scene where Kate Winslet's character Rose gets painted in the nude. She wants it tastefully done, though, and is looking for the right artist to do it."
We know Britney doesn't command quite the amount of boner attention that she did a few years back, but we're still betting that a few of you, after reading this story, will be searching out berets and easels and palettes and trying to get your name listed under "Nude Portrait Artists" in the Malibu Yellow Pages.
And for those of you who are more interested in Britney's downfall than her downbelow, we've got a tale of possible booze redemption via MSNBC:
The ìOops, I Did It Againî singer reportedly checked into an exclusive spa ìfor some R&Rî ó and some are wondering if a third ìRî ó rehab ó is in store.At a New Yearís Eve party, Spears passed out according to some reports, disputed by her rep, who insists that she just nodded off.
Spears quietly checked into Sanctuary, a spa in Arizona, on New Yearís Day, according to Life & Style weekly.
ìWith these celebrities, ëexhaustioní sometimes means something else and a little rest at a spa sometimes actually translates into something a little more serious,î says a source.
Spearsí rep couldnít be reached for comment, but L&S reports that the singerís parents are urging their daughter to go into therapy.
ìItís just been heartbreaking for her parents to watch Britney on this downward spiral,î an ìinsiderî told the mag. ìItís so sad.î
Thanks a lot, "insider." We were about to say something snide and cutting and utterly hilarious about Britney, her boozing, and possibly (no, definitely) her vagina, but then you had to make us feel sorry for her, bringing up her despaired and desperate parents and pointing out how sad the whole situation is. Way to ruin our joke, "insider."
Britney and her hot bod can be found at MrSkin.com.
