We think that Lindsay and Britney must have some sort of secret communication device (perhaps walkie-talkie-enabled weaves) that allows them to send messages back and forth and monitor each other's tabloid-grabbing antics. Last night when Britney sent a frantic message to LiLo begging, "Please help. OK! magazine was really mean to me and wanted to make me use something called a brush and then they got mad when I cleaned up my new puppy's doo-doo with one of their ugly old-lady dresses. I was cleaning up their stupid studio. I need a distraction for tomorrow morning's headlines. See what you can do." And of course Lindsay came to her erstwhile friend's aid, because that's just the kind of girl she is.
For this tale of Brit Brit, couture, and dog shit, we turn to our trusted pal TMZ:
TMZ has learned that Britney's self-arranged photo shoot and interview with OK! Magazine was a complete disaster. We're told that the photos are so bad, execs at the magazine are, at this moment, trying to decide whether to report what actually happened — or sanitize the truth to protect the pop train wreck.According to multiple sources, Britney's behavior during the interview was "nothing less than a meltdown." She was, according to our sources, "completely out of it" during the shoot. The photos are "so bad" we've learned, that to publish them could "kill her career." Apparently, Brit Brit's eyes rolled back in her head at one point, causing her to look half dead. Her mood, we're told, was extremely erratic. She took frequent bathroom breaks our source says, and each time she returned her mood would change. She was also completely paranoid during the entire interview, fearing at one point the ceiling was about to cave in on her. Out of control y'all!
We've also learned that Brit had some issues with hygiene on the set as well. At one point, Britney ordered up some fried chicken to munch on. We're told after she chowed down, she wiped her hands on a several thousand dollar Gucci dress that she was wearing for the shoot, staining it with grease. Yuck! One of her dogs also needed some assistance in the housebreaking department. Our on-set spy says that the dog pooped all over the floor, and Brit used (what else?) — a Chanel dress to clean it up! How trashtastic!
As for how Brit looked for the photos, another nightmare. We've learned that OK! hired two of the best hair and makeup artists in L.A. to transform the once-bald beauty into something more presentable, but she wasn't havin' none of that. She refused to let the hired help touch her, opting instead for her "skanky friends" to do her hair and makeup. No wonder she always looks so fantastic!
And if you're wondering where her mom/publicist/lawyer/friend/ANYONE was to help her out, we're told that even her cousin Alli (who until recently was working as her personal assistant) couldn't deal, and is "done" with Miss Spears.
And TMZ later gave this update:
In a surprising move, OK! Magazine says they're going to show Britney as she really was on the day of her disastrous photo shoot — the good, the bad and the unbelievably ugly!In an exclusive statement to TMZ, OK! Editor-in-Chief Sarah Ivens said, "OK! Magazine spent a heartbreaking day with Britney Spears and witnessed first-hand an emotional cry for help that will leave you shocked and sad. This week, on newsstands Friday, the truth will be told."
Admittedly we haven't so much as wiped our dog's ass with OK! since the very first celeb-ass-kissing issue, mostly because we really, really don't care how Paula Abdul's lanai is decorated or where Eva Longoria hand picked the calla lilies for her bridal bouquet. But we will be the first in line at the Jewels when the new issue arrives, ready to view a greased-up, Raggedy-Ann-haired Britney scooping up dog shit, depositing it in an OK! employee's Birkin, wiping the excess from her hands onto a $5000 dress, then returning to her KFC.
Britney–minus the poo and the grease–can be found at MrSkin.com.
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