We know you've been hard at work the past three days planning out how to keep your New Year's resolutions. You've paid gym fees, bought protein powder, dug out your workout clothes from the back of the closet. But let's face it: nobody's gonna give a shit if you lose ten pounds. Why don't you instead make some resolutions for someone else and try to convince the universe to fulfill your wishes? Every night before bed you can pray to your Furby to give Britney Spears the common fucking sense to answer the phone when her lawyers call. Because a Furby definitely has more brain power than Britney and could probably get things done. We've never heard of a Furby being repeatedly dumped by their legal representation. TMZ reports:
The high-powered firm of Trope and Trope filed legal papers today asking to withdraw as Brit's hired guns in her custody dispute with K-Daddy.In the legal papers, attorney Tara Scott from Trope and Trope wrote, "There has been a breakdown in communications between [Britney] and Trope and Trope making further representation of her interests impossible."
Sources tell TMZ the reason Trope and Trope withdrew is because Britney just didn't listen to her lawyers' advice, and her behavior was generally sinking her case.
Oh, and in case you thought Brit's only errand for the day was running to the Circle K to buy some pork rinds, she was supposed to be in court this morning, but she didn't show. Again. TMZ again:
TMZ has learned Britney Spears' deposition was scheduled today and she didn't show — again!If we're counting correctly, this is the fifth time her scheduled deposition in the custody case didn't happen. Last month, Britney claimed she was too ill to sit for her depo, yet TMZ caught her out partying that same night.
Sources say the fact that she didn't show for the depo was a factor in her lawyers' decision to file papers today asking to withdraw as counsel, but it was only one of many reasons. As one connected source put it, "Her whole life has become insane and it's impossible for anyone to get through to her."
We have now written pretty much the same goddamn story about twelve times here. There is no way left to make this funny. What happened to the Britney Spears who wanted to shock us, who was always trying new ways to get our attention? We miss that girl. Now she's like Michael Winslow in Police Academy 6: City Under Siege. Sure, up to, say, Citizens on Patrol Michael was feeling fresh, really getting into making the fake police-siren noises and horse-hooves-on-cobblestone noises, but by PA6 he was just showing up for the paycheck, not really putting his heart into it. God help us if Britney ever reaches the level of Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow.
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So Brit's gone through 2 kids, 3 law firms, 4 guys and a partridge and a pear tree all in one year? And now she's in the looney bin for kidnapping?! If I didn't love her new album and catch her buying my favorite 5-Hour energy drink the other day, I'd totally swear off her forever…ah well, maybe in 2009