We have a message for all you poor, starving, homeless people around the world (because we know the one luxury you just cannot live without is CelebNewsWire): Your worries will soon be over, because Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are going to save you. So gather up your daily allotment of rice, patch up the holes in your dancing shoes, lock up your hovels, and gather 'round the community shitting ditch, because it's time for a party.
We all know that most actors don't care about fame and popularity and money; it's all just a means to make a difference in the world. And if a photographer from People should happen to be in the very same village (what a coincidence!) where they are feeding malnourished orphans by hand and teaching the natives how to make a potent panacea out of that pesky weed they're always trying to banish from their family trash heap, they can't prevent that photographer from snapping a few pictures. And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are no different. They just want to help. Likely wracked with feelings of guilt over bringing a biological child into a world filled with so many unsaved, nonfamous orphans, they are both vowing to do their part to save a tiny piece of the world. Brad is taking on New Orleans by sponsoring the Sustainable Design Competition for New Orleans. He told the AP:
Our goal is to kick off the rebuilding effort. It's certainly long overdue and I can only go from the reports that we get Ö that it's behind, absolutely. People are frustrated. We could possibly build something that was better and took into account the historical traditions of the city and the voices of the people.
We think it's quite brave of Brad to focus on such an overlooked area of the world. We mean, all we ever hear is Botswana, Katmandu, yada yada yada. We can't remember the last time we heard something about . . . what's it called again? Oh yeah, New Orleans. Good work Brad.
Angelina, meanwhile, is focusing on Africa. We're a bit confused by this story, so we'll just let gossip life coach FemaleFirst tell you about it.
Angelina Jolie is buying her own country to help impoverished Africans.
The 'Tomb Raider' star, who is currently pregnant with boyfriend Brad Pitt's child, is buying Richard Branson's man-made version of Ethiopia, located in Dubai.
The British business tycoon is having 300 country-shaped luxury island developments built, to form a map of the world.
And the 55-year-old entrepreneur is selling parts of the 'world' to anyone rich enough to afford them.
The 30-year-old actress, who is due to give birth early in May, is reportedly planning to turn her new purchase into a fair-trade paradise for hundreds of Africans.
A source said: "Angelina has been obsessed with Ethiopia ever since she adopted her second child Zahara from there. Her friends are very jealous of her purchase."
We didn't think she could do it, but Angelina has finally found a way to combine the two extremes of Hollywood wealth. On one hand we have the ultimate indulgence of celebrity consumerist importance, as epitomized by Marlon Brando, Leonardo DiCaprio, et al: the purchase of one's own sovereign land entity. On the other hand we have the supreme use of celebrity power for the forces of good, as practiced by Mia Farrow and her commune of multi-cultural, variously disabled orphans. (Angelina's desire for perfect, impossibly beautiful children deters her from fully executing Mia's humanitarian example.) All she needs now is her own peace-spreading army full of devastatingly attractive formerly impoverished youth and there's no stopping her from becoming the first Almighty Queen and Savior of Earth.
Check out Angelina's good deeds at MrSkin.com.
And, hey, Brad's at MaleStars.com.
