Russell Brad and Katy Perry Make Out

We’ve had Sienna Miller topless on a balcony. Today we saw Lily Allen topless on a balcony. And now we’re seeing Katy Perry . . . not topless on a balcony. Hmmmm. This has something to do with her being American, right? It looks like her current chimney sweep, Russell Brand, would like to screw the Yankee out of her right here on this balcony, but we Americans, we’re nothing if not set in our ways. Our prudish, Puritanical ways. Look, in one he’s even whispering in her ear. Imagine what sweet seductions are emanating from his fuzz-ensconced lips: “You’re slipping, love. No, not from the railing, from the spotlight. You don’t have time to write another hit song before Lady Gaga makes everyone forget about you. Why don’t you take off your dress? Right here. Right now. And we could ever snog while the photographer watches. You’ll be famous forever. Just look at Paris Hilton. Now there’s a Yank I could get behind. Oh, and by the way, I have.”