Baby Affleck Is Here! Baby Affleck Is Here!

Jennifer Garner, who has seriously been pregnant for over two years, finally belched that wee babe out of her Fleck-tainted womb yesterday. It's a girl, and they have reportedly named her Violet Affleck. Violent Affect. Violate Afflack. Violin Affluence. Silent Chaffsex. Pilates Calf-flex.

Mother and baby are doing fine (yay!), as is father (damn!) after Affleck the Younger was birthed after a scheduled inducing at an L.A. hospital yesterday at 3:26 P.M. No specific details about the baby's weight, etc., have yet been released, but little Violet reportedly popped out of the womb all crazy-eyed and flailing and emitting part-skim foam from her mouth until new mother Jennifer, eyes brimming with proud tears, offered her new daughter a sip of highly caffeinated, mocha-tinged milk from her grande bosom. Yeah, we just made the obvious Starbucks joke. That's right.

Before Jen got Fleck cooties, she was hot. Check her out at MrSkin.com.

Tagged as: Ben Affleck, celebrity offspring, Jennifer Garner