The clock is ticking–Anna Nicole Smith has about 24 hours until she must submit her miracle baby Dannielynn Hope to DNA testing to determine the child's father. Dowager Anna Nicole and her lawyers are trying desperately to have the test blocked or at least pushed back, despite her insistence that lawyer/companion/barnacle Howard K. Stern is the "proud father" of Dannielynn and that they have "nothing to hide". However, faking a DNA test takes time and effort, and it's taking Anna a lot longer than she hoped, hunched over construction paper with safety scissors, mucilage, and Howard K. sperm, carefully drawing in all those funny bars with a Crayola. We haven't been this excited to find out the results of a test since eharmony.com's Personality Profile!
UPDATE: TMZ.com has somehow obtained this AOL IM chat log between embittered ex-lover–and probably parents–Anna Nicole Smith and Larry Birkhead. This might mark the first time we've seen AOL users successfully express their vitriol without emoticons. Well done.
See Anna at MrSkin.com. You'll wanna knock her up.
