Aw shit. Here we go again. Angelina Jolie misses the sweet clitty licking and is begging Brad Pitt to let her get her tongue wet. Sure Star, whatever you say. Like Angie hasn’t been slurping on snatch all along. Riiiiiiiight. Anyway, here’s the tall tale, via Celebitchy:
In the January 11 issue of Star — on sale today — we report that just days after a rare public display of snuggling and smooching at the UNICEF Snowflake Ball in Los Angeles, Angelina suggested to her partner of five years that they try an open relationship — and he hit the roof.
“Angie’s been hinting that she’s interested in seeing other people for a while, but Brad has resisted,” a friend tells Star. And it’s not just men that Angie wants to cheat with. She wants to give women another try too! “When she openly said that’s what she wanted, Brad flipped out!”
That’s nice and all, but we hope this doesn’t mess up the plans Angie had last week. The plans for a diabolical revenge pregnancy! Because, really, pregnancy is the best revenge. Seriously. This one time this guy who was friends with our roommate came over when we weren’t home and stole our laptop and our TV and our rare German porn, and do you know how we got back at him? Pregnancy. We saw him a few months later at the Citgo and were all like, “Look at this, loser,” while sticking out belly in his face. “You might have all our stuff, but we’re gonna have a super awesome baby! So suck it!” It really showed him.
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Man, I hope you were kidding about the German porn.