Angelina Jolie's futon-lipped mug dons the cover of People's annual "100 Most Beautiful" issue. Not to be outdone, the UK version of FHM magazine named Keira Knightley the Sexiest Woman Alive. There's only one way to settle this. And that's with tea and scones at noon followed by a civilized game of chess. No, no, not a naked Vaselined caged match. Why on earth would we want to see something like that?
It's no surprise that Keira Knightley topped the Brits' most desireable female poll. They're English–their other choices are pretty much Jordan's canned-tanned volleyball breasts and the transsexual from Big Brother. FHM claims that two million people voted, and Keira came out on top, followed by Keeley Hazel (who?), Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie, and Kelly Brook. Man. England has such a dearth of attractive women that they actually had to borrow a few from us. Maybe we can have a sexy foreign exchange program, and trade Eva Longoria for Kelly Brook. Or maybe two Fergies and half a pack of Bubblicious for Keira.
Now, it's no national secret that Angelina Jolie is "sexy" and "desirable" and what have you. It's her fourth time on People's Most Beautiful list, in fact, but her first as the dame on the cover. And not only that, her triumphant, boner-inducing face is so universally drooled upon that People had to actually create a whole new category, "Most Beautiful Family", to incorporate Brad and their Fruit Stripe rainbow of babies. They didn't go so far as to create a "World's Most Bangable Fetus" category for their zygote, but we all know what People was thinking. Those sick freaks.
Keira is sexy–and naked!–at MrSkin.com.
Angelina is beautiful–and also naked!–at MrSkin.com.
