Oh, In Touch, you amuse us. Every week your pages arrive on our desk and we distractedly flip through, thinking, "Man, I wish this were Us Weekly instead." We're about 98% sure that every single story in that mag is completely made up, to the point that if we started seeing stories about Madonna dumping her drippy young boyfriend to move in with an African white rhino, we wouldn't be surprised. No, actually we would be surprised, because that story would be interesting. Whereas In Touch's normal features are along the lines of, "We know we told you last month and the month before that and the month before that ad nauseam that Angelina Jolie is pregnant and she still hasn't had any babies, but this time we mean it! More baby joy!" Last week the mag ran a story about Brad Pitt clandestinely meeting up with Jennifer Aniston to complain about how haaaard his life is, and this week there's an equally unbelievable follow-up: Angelina read that story! And she's furious! Says the mag (via Celebitchy):
ìShe told Brad heíd humiliated her for the last time,î the source reveals. ìShe then hurled a string of insults at him and hung up.îThe source adds that ìWorld War IIIî has broken out at the Long Island, NY mansion that Brad, Angelina and their six children are sharing, and it will be hard to ìtry to act like a happy coupleî when they attend the Cannes film festival in France this month.
So first of all we're supposed to believe that Angelina Jolie reads In Touch? And then we're supposed to believe that she believes what she reads in In Touch? If their stories were always accurate, Angie would have incubated about eighteen babies by now and had almost as many weddings. We don't think Angelina is that much of a fool. And besides, we're pretty sure she catches up on her gossip by reading CNW. Hi, Angie! We love you! Call us!
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