You've all seen Jessica Alba's barely-dressed photo spread in the latest GQ. If you haven't, go buy it. Or look at it here, whatever. But anyway, guess who else saw it? Jessica's dad! And unlike you, he didn't get a boner.
Jessica relates the story thusly: "I called my father and I said, 'Dad, I sorta did this naked kind of photoshoot thing, but hear me out–it's not bad, it's very tasteful. It's for GQ. I'm not showing anything really.' And then he was like, 'What? Really?' And I said, 'Yeah, maybe you shouldn't look at it. Like maybe none of your friends should look at it either and then you won't have a problem with it!' He actually saw it and he said, 'It's a lot worse than I thought! Why would you disrespect me like that? Now everyone's gonna see you like that!' I was like, 'I'm sorry, dad!'"
And then Jessica was all, "Dad, seriously, Honey wasn't exactly Oscar gold. I'm not, like, Meryl Streep here. I have to keep the public's attention some way." And her dad was like, "Not as long as you live under my roof, young lady," and she was all, "Oh yeah, like I've live at home. Whatever! I'm Jessica Alba. I'm the Dark Angel!" And her dad was, "Oh yeah, well you're grounded from nudity, young lady," and Jessica said, like, "Oh yeah? You think that's bad, pops, wait til you read what I said about my sex life," and then Jessica's dad exploded! Literally. They're still finding organs and digits as far away as Canarsie. The end.
You're not Jessica Alba's dad, so check out her nude review at MrSkin.com.
See Jessica Alba at MrSkin.com
